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The First Degree
"The First Degree" is a SpongeBob episode from Season Sixteen, in this episode, SpongeBob starts to take everything too literally. Characters SpongeBob Squidward Sandy Mr.Krabs Patrick Random Fish Transcription : episode starts in the pineapple house, SpongeBob is sleeping in his bed, but the alarm clock doesn't ring SpongeBob : eye opens, followed by the another one Hey! The clock didn't ring! Well I guess I'll just buy another one! After all, I still have some money! up, goes to break his piggy bank, there's nothing but a bug flying off Mmh... I thought I had some money... Gary : Meow! SpongeBob : Hi! Gary! I see you're happy today! Gary : Meow! purrs SpongeBob : Oh! I know! Come with me! I'm going to feed you! and Gary go to the kitchen, SpongeBob makes up Snailpo and feeds it to Gary SpongeBob : Do you like it? I did it all by myself! Gary : Bleh! SpongeBob : You don't like it? I'm sad for you Gary! Gary : Meow! laughs SpongeBob : You were joking? Dahahahaahha! That's the first time you're joking. I've never seen you do that! camera cuts to Patrick's rock Patrick : up, itches his butt on the couch and watches the TV even though it is turned off Woah! This episode is my favorite of all time! the TV showing the time, more specifically, February 15, the camera cuts to him, doing nothing but suddenly : It's annoy Squidward day! jumps out of his couch, leaves his house and then knocks at Squidward's door, Squidward opens the door Hi Squidward! SpongeBob : comes Hi Squidward! What a wonderful day! Huh? Squidward : Today's The Opposite Day! SpongeBob : I didn't know! Squidward : Yes! Everyday is The Opposite Day! Patrick : Good! Also, what other days is it? Squidward : Oh! Patrick... Patrick, Patrick, it's also the Patrick Forget Day! door Patrick : Don't worry, SpongeBob! I know what day it is! Today, we should do everything opposite from our own things we do own day every do...Ejfekjeqdko, bugs SpongeBob : That but also, today, you should forget things! Patrick : Okay! I also forgot what to do! I'll see what I should do! SpongeBob : Oh! My gosh! I forgot to go to work! the screen and go back with his working hat Let's go Patrick! camera cuts to the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is waiting for a command while Patrick is the cashier Mr.Krabs : comes Mmh... Something's wrong! Patrick : Don't tell me, maybe that's because... Uh... Uh... and ends up exploding Mr.Krabs : Why did Patrick explode? piece of Patrick falls on his nose SpongeBob : out of the kitchen I don't know Mr.Krabs! Mr.Krabs : Do you know that you came late? This will cost you an arm and a leg! for a second And I know the thing that is wrong too! SpongeBob : I'm sorry Mr.Krabs! one arm and one leg from Patrick Mr.Krabs : What? No! When I was talking about the arm and the leg, I was speaking of money! And... at the TV, he sees Squidward S... Squidward???! Grrr! He's supposed to work here! Patrick : himself, comes out of the “boat” Don't worry Mr.Krabs! I'm dealing now! at the TV Hey! Squidward! Come out of the small blue rectangle that makes noises and light! for a second I said, come out! Mr.Krabs wants to talk with you! camera cuts to Squidward presentating the informations Squidward : Hello little fellas, today, we're going to show you how to be an artist like me! Because you're clearly an incompetent idiot! SpongeBob : Hey! Watch your mouth Squidward! the “boat” on the TV, turns on Mr.Krabs Why is Squidward so stupid? I didn't say anything and he insulted me! Mr.Krabs : It will cost you cost one's firstborn child! SpongeBob : Okay! Hey Patrick! Have you a firstborn child? Patrick : Is firstborn child an instrument? Mr.Krabs : W... What? No! I only want money SpongeBob! And as for you Patrick, firstborn child is not an instrument! And just... go away! We need Squidward! Not you! Patrick : Okay! I also have a gift for you Mr.Krabs! Mr.Krabs : Is it money? out his hands Patrick : No! It's fire! a burning match to Mr.Krabs Mr.Krabs : Aw! Aw! Aw! Aw! match falls on the ground, the Krusty Krab burns AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Patrick : there SpongeBob : Do you know that the Krusty Krab is burning? Patrick : What does burning means? SpongeBob : and lifts his second finger, and his hand as well Patrick : Wait! I know! "fire is joy" Fire! Fire! Fire is joy! Fire! Fire! Fire is good! I loveeee Fire! Fire is good! SpongeBob : I don't think that's true Patrick. Even though I'm breaking the logic of this episode's title, I think I can't be stupid enough to trust you! Patrick : Huuh... Wait... Stupid... Trust... Patrick... What does Patrick means? SpongeBob : It means, A pink LAZY STAR WHO MAKES MAYHEM AND DESTROYS EVERYTHING!!!! Mr.Krabs : money with him and comes out of the restaurant C'mon kids! The Krusty Krab is going to explode! SpongeBob : Wait a bit, Mr.Krabs! I'm going to insult Patrick! Patrick : And I'm going to insult SpongeBob! is ready to talk Wait! SpongeBob! It's my turn to insult you! Um... Um... You're... Uhh... A barnacle! SpongeBob : Okay! It's my turn, let me take this dice so we can play! of the dice in the hand of SpongeBob, SpongeBob shakes his hands and throws the dices on the ground Good! *'Dolphin noises'* Patrick : very angry *'Multiple dolphine noises'* fire brigade throws water to SpongeBob and Patrick, they're expulsed into the wall Mr.Krabs : Thank you for saving my employee! FireFighter : Don't worry! With us, there will be no fire anymore! Squidward : into the screen Hello... Captain... out of the screen Mr.Krabs : Squidward! What were you doing this time! That'll cost you some whales! appears out of nowhere with Pearl in his hands lifted up in the direction of the sky, he throws her into Mr.Krabs Mr.Krabs : Pearl away SpongeBob! You seriously need help! SpongeBob : I need more whales? Mr.Krabs : No! No! You're taking everything too literally! You know, when cost appears in a sentence, it always has something to do with money, if I say cost to you, you'll give me money! Okay? SpongeBob : Okay Mr.Krabs! I know who can help me! Patrick! Mr.Krabs : No! Not Patrick! I was talking about Sandy! SpongeBob : Oh! Okay! camera cuts to Sandy's treedome, SpongeBob is coming in without his water helmet SpongeBob : Hello! Sandy! Sandy : Hi! SpongeBob! What do ya want? SpongeBob : I have some problems with my way of taking sentences! Sandy : Oh! I understand! After riding some bulls in Texas, I learned about Sponges having sometimes the first degree disease. SpongeBob : The first degree disease? Sandy : Yes! When you catch it, you take everything too literally! And it is your case SpongeBob! SpongeBob : And what can I do? Sandy : Wait a minute... Aren't you supposed to wear a water helmet? SpongeBob : A w... w... WATER HELMET!!!??? AAAAAHHHHHH!!! to the door and gets slammed by it, it was Patrick Star who's entering the treedome, he has a water helmet in his hands, even though there is no water in it Patrick : Here! SpongeBob! Get your water helmet! SpongeBob, lifts him up and puts the water helmet on his head, he puts him down SpongeBob : heavily Patrick... Where's the water? Patrick : Water? What's water? Is water an instrument? SpongeBob : We're not practiciiiiiii... faints Patrick : Oh no! Now I know what water is! Sandy : water in SpongeBob's water helmet Hey Patrick, why did you put water in your water helmet but didn't do the same for SpongeBob? Patrick : I forgot what was water! Sandy : Is it Stupid Patrick Day? Patrick : No! It's Patrick Forget Day. SpongeBob : up Uh... My head... Sandy : SpongeBob? Are you alright? Mr.Krabs : into the treedome SpongeBob! Come to work! Sandy : Don't you see? Mr.Krabs : SpongeBob with him Patrick : Hi SpongeBob! SpongeBob : Hi Patrick... goes to the Krusty Krab and puts SpongeBob down Mr.Krabs : SpongeBob! What were you doing? Squidward : Mr.Krabs, you asked him to go seek help from Sandy. Mr.Krabs : Okay! Okay! Those words will cost you... Uh... SpongeBob : Cost??? Cost??? But I haven't any money Mr.Krabs! Mr.Krabs : I'm not talking to you me boyo! Go fry some Krabby Patties! SpongeBob : Okay! Sir! to the kitchen and cooks some Krabby Patties Patrick : Have you seen SpongeBob? I was very impolite to him and I want to apologize to him, I made him faint! Mr.Krabs : Only if you pay me 11 dollars and 77 cents! Patrick : Okay! Here they are Mr.Krabs! 11 coins and 77 cents SpongeBob? SpongeBob : Yes? Patrick? Patrick : I'm sorry. a Krabby Patty that SB prepared and eats it SpongeBob : Patrick???!!! Stop!!! Patrick : while eating What does that means? SpongeBob : his head on the grill, the Krabby Steaks are stuck on his head, he shakes his head to take them off Patrick. Why are you breaking the rules? Patrick : Rules? I only ate one rule! And I think when you said break, you meant eat, uh? SpongeBob : What the... Patrick : algae milk UhhHUhhhhgezeze... SpongeBob : Patrick? Are you okay? Patrick : You know what people do when they are in one thing where we sleep on? You know, they make the bed shake, to the point of breaking it! SpongeBob : Ew! Don't you dare make another joke about that! Patrick : I think there are two similar games, speleology, and... SpongeBob : Don't tell me... You're clearly disgusting... Patrick : Pfft... I'm surretrururueure... faints SpongeBob : Patrick? Are you okay? I think I should send you to the doctor! Patrick with him camera cuts to Squidward waiting a command, a fish appears Fish : Squidward. Squidward : Fish. Heh... I mean... Insert name here. What do you want Mr.Insert name here? Fish : I want a Krabby Patty X-plus extra deluxe 2000 Y-Tri mega XYZ Hyper mega ultra mega hyper maxi 50 billions please. Squidward : Okay. Insert name here. SpongeBob! One Krabby Patty X-plus extra deluxe 2000 Y-Tri mega XYZ Hyper mega ultra mega hyper maxi 50 billions! SpongeBob leaving the Krusty Krab SpongeBob??? SpongeBob : Squidward!? Please don't say anything! Squidward : Mr.Krabs. Mr.Krabs : Yes Squidward? Squidward : What if I assemble the four following words : SpongeBob, Krusty, Krab and leaving? Mr.Krabs : Oh by Neptune's great beard! You're breaking the rules!!!???? SpongeBob : Patrick down I'm not breaking the rules! I have it in my hands and it is unbroken! a close-up of the multiple rulers And also, we say rulers, not rules, because breaking the rules is impossible since they are just words written on a piece of paper. Mr.Krabs : there, the mouth open from the head to the ground, he's surprised Squidward : Ahahahah! He's so stupid! Ahahahah! Fish : I'm waiting! Squidward : You're Naive. Fish : I'm naive? I've never knew that! Squidward : You're not hungry and you're greedy. Fish : Okay, I won't spend any money nor eat anything. out of the Krusty Krab Mr.Krabs : I don't think your words will be good for him, in 30 days exactly, unless you told him to not drink so it isn't going to be good for him for 3 days. Squidward : I thought Sandy was the scientist. Mr.Krabs : This translates to : MAKE THIS CUSTOMER GO BACK TO THE KRUSTY KRAB AND MAKE HIM SPEND HIS MONEY!!! Squidward : And what if I say no? Mr.Krabs : You're fired! And Patrick, you will be the cashier! SpongeBob : Mr.Krabs, I think his spirit is in the sky! Mr.Krabs : Wow, then let's bury him! Patrick : up Bury!? No!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! away SpongeBob : Well, at least he's not out of the picture! Mr.Krabs : Go back to work, SpongeBob! SpongeBob : Okay! Captain! Squidward : back I'm coming back. Mr.Krabs : Why? Squidward : Because the business I'm searching for is ruled by Squilliam, I must wait three years until I can be fired for good! Mr.Krabs : Okay Mr.Squidward. Welcome back to the Krusty Krab! day later the it's a normal day at the Krusty Krab, and then, the fish mentioned earlier in the episode comes back dressed up as an angel Angel fish : Hi Squidward. Squidward : May I take your command? Angel Fish : I want a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. gives up writing all of that down and smashes his head into the cash register SpongeBob : the angel fish Why aren't you up in the sky? Angel Fish : I'm a fake angel! Uh... I mean... lies They said that I abandoned my snail Gary so they told me to forgive him by kissing his eyes three times. SpongeBob : Wait! I know who's this snail! leaves the Krusty Krab, takes Gary and goes back to the Krusty Krab, he holds out Gary Go ahead! episode ends with the screen turning black Category:Season 16 Episodes Category:Episodes